Mormon Terms:Potential Terms
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[[Quorum of the Twelve Apostles]], the - The collection of apostles which stands second only to the First Presidency as a governing body of the L.D.S. Church. Sometimes also referred to as the Quorum of the Twelve, the Council of the Twelve, or simply the Twelve. - The body of twelve men who, under the direction of the First Presidency, constitute the second-highest presiding quorum of the Church. | [[Quorum of the Twelve Apostles]], the - The collection of apostles which stands second only to the First Presidency as a governing body of the L.D.S. Church. Sometimes also referred to as the Quorum of the Twelve, the Council of the Twelve, or simply the Twelve. - The body of twelve men who, under the direction of the First Presidency, constitute the second-highest presiding quorum of the Church. | ||
[[Quorums of the Seventy]] General Authorities organized in bodies of up to seventy members. Under supervision of the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve, they direct missionary and other administrative activities of the Church. | [[Quorums of the Seventy]] General Authorities organized in bodies of up to seventy members. Under supervision of the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve, they direct missionary and other administrative activities of the Church. | ||
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Revision as of 20:36, 16 September 2008
Please note:
These are suggested words for inclusion in Mormon Terms. Just because the word is on this list does NOT NECESSARILY mean that it should be included! Please review our inclusion criteria if you have any doubt!!
| Contents | A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z |
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A
a.p. - See assistant to the president.
Aaronic Priesthood - The lower order of priesthood authority in the L.D.S. Church, encompassing the offices of deacon, teacher, and priest. Young males are usually ordained deacons at the age of twelve. Named for Aaron, the brother of Moses -- not for baseball great Hank Aaron, as is widely believed. All "worthy" young Mormon boys are "ordained" to this priesthood beginning as young as age twelve. There are three "offices" within this priesthood: deacons, teachers, and priests. The lesser priesthood of the Church, consisting of the offices of deacon, teacher, priest, and bishop. Holders of this priesthood attend to temporal affairs of the Church (cf. Melchizedek Priesthood).
active in the Church Refers to regular attendance at meetings, observance of the principles of the gospel, and acceptance of Church callings.
Adam-ondi-Ahman The place (in what is now Daviess County, Missouri) where Adam gathered and blessed his posterity before his death; a locale where a future priesthood meeting will be held just previous to Christ's second coming.
Adam The first man. Latter-day Saints view him as one of the greatest and noblest of all men.
Adamic language A perfect spoken and written language given by God to Adam.
added upon A phrase indicating that the faithful receive additional blessings in the life to follow. Those who were faithful in premortal life had blessings "added upon" them in mortality. Those who are faithful in this life will have "glory added upon their heads for ever and ever" (Abr. 3:26). administer To perform an ordinance, such as anointing the sick with oil or saying the set prayers to bless the bread and water of the sacrament.
Advocate With the Father Jesus Christ is each repentant individual's advocate, spokesman, or representative in pleading before the Father for mercy for sin. Christ holds this role because of his Atonement for mankind (see 1 John 2:1; Moroni 7:28; D&C 110:4).
age of accountability The age at which a child becomes personally responsible for motives, attitudes, desires, and actions. Designated by revelation to begin at eight years of age (D&C 68:25).
agency (often called free agency) The granted right to choose good or evil, and the responsibility for the choices made.
Ancestral File(TM) A computerized system of genealogical information that links names of individuals into pedigrees, showing their ancestors and descendants.
Ancient of Days A term used in Daniel 7:9, identified by revelation to Joseph Smith as Adam.
angel, fallen Specifically, the devil.* Generally, all who followed the devil in the premortal existence.
angels Literally, messengers; usually referring to messengers from God.
anointing(s) The placing of a drop or two of consecrated olive oil on a person's head as part of a special blessing, under the direction of the Melchizedek Priesthood.
Anti-Mormon Critic non-Mormon scientist, writer, historian, whose work undermines LDS doctrine.
AP - See assistant to the president.
ape - See assistant to the president.
apostate - One who has repudiated Mormonism for whatever reason and in whatever fashion, whether or not his or her name remains on the church's rolls. The commonly repeatedly Mormon party line would have it that these are the most unhappy people on the face of the earth, but reasonable humans are likely to perceive this attitude as sour grapes.
apostle - The second highest office in the Melchizedek Priesthood, and a special witness of Jesus Christ. Common Mormon belief holds that apostles know the resurrected Christ personally. Apostles are considered "prophets, seers and revelators," though only the ordained president of the Church holds all the keys necessary for administering the Kingdom of God on earth. See also Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, the. An office in the Melchizedek Priesthood; usually a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles.
apostolic Church The Church presided over by the Twelve Apostles following the resurrection and ascension of Jesus Christ.
archives A general description for the record-keeping facilities of the Church in Salt Lake City. The archives hold a wide variety of records, including Church membership information, historical accounts, and the largest collection of genealogical data in the world.
area - The usually relatively small geographical region to which two missionaries are assigned
area A geographical ecclesiastical unit of the Church consisting of several regions and presided over by a president, who is a General Authority.
Articles of Faith Thirteen concise statements of LDS belief written by Joseph Smith in the Wentworth Letter.
assistant to the president - One of two missionaries who, by virtue of superior dedication, spirituality, and brown-nosing, are privileged to push paper in the mission office rather than pound pavement.
Assistants to the Twelve Persons who at one time in the Church were specifically called to be General Authorities to assist the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles.
Authority believe this was restored to Joseph Smith by having key Bible leaders appearing and ordaining Smith. Anyone ordained in the church receives a card tracing his priesthood back to Joseph Smith. Duly conferred priesthood power or delegated responsibility associated with position or function.
Auxiliary Organizations The Primary (children), Relief Society (adult women), Sunday School, and Young Men and Young Women organizations of the Church. Auxiliary organizations exist primarily to assist the priesthood government of the Church.
B
b.o.m. - Book of Mormon.
Babylon A term symbolic of worldliness.
Baptism of Fire and the Holy Ghost
Baptism:* "Baptism by immersion under the hands of a legal administrator, one empowered to bind on earth and seal in heaven, is the initiatory ordinance into the Church on earth and the celestial kingdom in the world to come (D. & C. 20:68-74; 2 Ne. 9:23-24). Baptism is the formally appointed means and ordinance which the Lord has provided so that man can signify his personal acceptance of all of the terms and conditions of the eternal gospel covenant. Thus in baptism, which as part of the gospel is itself a new and an everlasting covenant (D. & C. 22), man covenants to abide by all of the laws and requirements of the whole gospel."
Barge:* Jaredite
Barrow pit: * Something found only in Utah--a ditch alongside the road.
bear - In Mormon parlance, a verb invariably used with the word "testimony" to refer to the process of relating one's personal conviction of the truthfulness of certain religious precepts. This curious usage of the word is probably derived from the phrase "to bear witness." See also fast-and-testimony meeting, testimony meeting.
bear the priesthood To possess or hold duly conferred priesthood authority.
bear testimony To express one's personal convictions of the truthfulness of the gospel of Jesus Christ.
Beehive - 1) An LDS symbol of industry. 2) Young women's class.
Beehive Symbol* A logo representing industry and harmony, appearing frequently on objects associated with the LDS Church and Utah.
best two years of my life, the - A phrase sometimes employed by returned missionaries to describe their mission experience.
beyond the veil A metaphorical expression for the spirit world or for life after death.
BIC:* Born in the Covenant
bind on earth, bind in heaven Through the priesthood sealing power, to make an ordinance performed on earth valid throughout eternity.
Bishop:* heads a ward [300 to 500 members] who is also ordained a High Priest in their Melchizedek priesthood. They are largely unpaid and perform marriages and funerals and conduct services.
bishop's court A term used until recent years to indicate a disciplinary council conducted by a
Bishopric - In the L.D.S. ecclesiastical hierarchy, the presiding body of a ward, consisting of a bishop and his two counselors. See also first counselor.
blessing - This term can be used generically to refer to most any prayer, particularly prayers before meals, meetings, activities, etc. The term is often used specifically, however, to refer to an ordinance of the priesthood whereby hands are laid on a supplicant's head and a pronouncement of health, comfort, counsel, or christening is made. Though the syntactical structure of the blessing is similar to that of a regular prayer, the words are directed to the recipient rather than to God, often with instructions such as "be healed" or "live worthily" or "remember that your Father in Heaven is mindful of you." The giver of a blessing of this sort must be a worthy priesthood holder, and he is directed to keep his mind open and not speak his own thoughts or wishes, but rather to listen for the promptings of the Holy Ghost in knowing what instructions and/or promises to pass along to the recipient. When giving a blessing, the spokesman may be assisted by one or more other priesthood holders, who stand shoulder to shoulder and also place hands on the recipient's head.
Blood Atonement Some Mormons historically believed that some sins are so serious that they are outside of the blood of Christ. They believed it would be in the best interest of the offending person to have their own blood shed so they can have a hope that they will eventually be released from hell into the lowest kingdom in their afterlife. Some underground militia like fundamentalists feel they would be doing certain apostates a favor by shedding their blood.
BMW:* Big Mormon Wagon.
board (general, auxiliary) A small group of Church members called to help leaders of Church auxiliary organizations, such as Relief Society or Sunday School, at both the stake and the general Church administrative levels.
BOM:* Book of Mormon.
Book of Abraham* Writings of Abraham, revealed to Joseph Smith. The Book of Abraham is one of the books in the Pearl of Great Price.
Book of Commandments* The earliest published collection of revelations to Joseph Smith; a predecessor to the Doctrine and Covenants.
Book of Mormon - A collection of writings ascribed to various prophets who lived in undetermined regions of the American continents between 600 B.C. and A.D. 421. Another testament of Jesus Christ, and the keystone of the L.D.S. faith. The Book of Mormon tells the story of the prophet Lehi, who fled Jerusalem with his family after having been warned in a dream of the city's impending destruction by the Babylonians. They built a ship and sailed to America, where his son Nephi, also a prophet, began to keep a record of their proceedings on engraved metal plates. Subsequent prophets and kings continued this practice. Nearly a thousand years later, a prophet named Mormon abridged the records kept by his predecessors onto engraved plates of gold. These he gave into the keeping of his son Moroni -- you guessed it, another prophet -- who added a few chapters and then buried the record in a hill in what would later become the state of New York. In the early 1800s, a resurrected Moroni appeared to Joseph Smith, Jr., and led him to the site where the record was buried. Young Smith, aided by the Urim and Thummim, translated the engravings from the Reformed Egyptian into an English reminiscent of King James and soon thereafter published the work as the Book of Mormon -- so named in honor of its prime abridger. An account of ancient inhabitants of the Western Hemisphere, recorded on gold plates and translated by Joseph Smith. The record contains both a history of the people and the fulness of the everlasting gospel as revealed by the Savior to the ancient inhabitants.
Book of Moses* A record from the creation of the world and mankind to the flood at Noah's time, revealed to Joseph Smith while he was translating the Bible. Selections from the Book of Moses are now part of the Pearl of Great Price.
Book of Remembrance (1) A record begun by Adam and his immediate posterity; (2) a personal book containing genealogy and significant family history.
Born in the Covenant All children born to a couple after they have been married (sealed) in a temple.
Brass Plates - A record spoken of in the Book of Mormon, which was similar to the Old Testament, written on plates of brass, containing many writings of the prophets (1 Ne. 5:10-16); brought by Lehi and his family to the Western Hemisphere.
Brethren - (1) All male members of the Church; (2) "The Brethren," a designation of the General Authorities of the Church.
Brigham Tea or Brigham Weed:* See Mormon tea [DAW].
Brigham Young Cocktail:* [DAW] Moonshine, especially firewater or Indian whiskey.
Brighamite:* A follower of Brigham Young in the schism following Joseph Smith's death.
bucket - Calgary Canada Mission slang for a lazy missionary who habitually breaks the rules. Derivation uncertain. See also kicker.
buckfart - A flakism roughly equivalent to such words as "joker," "clown," "scumbag," and "stoopnagle."
burning in the bosom A metaphorical description of the feeling that sometimes attends the enveloping Spirit of the Lord, particularly when one understands God's words through the influence of the Holy Ghost (Luke 24:32; D&C 9:3-8).
BYC Bishop's Youth Committee. A monthly meeting of the bishopric with the youth leaders of Aaronic Priesthood quorums and Young Women classes and their adult advisers.
BYD-This term stands for Bishop Youth Discussion. This is usually a Sunday evening meeting that youth 12 to 18 are asked to attend. At the meeting the Bishop gives a lesson on a specific topic, then the youth are able to ask him questions at the end.
BYU Motto:* Enter to serve, go forth to learn. The campus is our world.
C
Call - To offer a Church job to someone, through inspiration from God; e.g., "Brother Gilmore, the Lord has seen fit to call you to the position of Young Men's President." Derived from the Biblical passage Matthew 20:16: "For many be called, but few chosen." Also, the official notice of having been called. See also calling, mission call.
Calling* Invitation to accept an office or assignment; offices or assignments themselves. Any position of responsibility within the Mormon Church, from nursery attendant right up to prophet. Holders of such positions are said to have been "called" by God -- by inspiration through the duly constituted member of the bureaucratic chain. Missionaries receive their callings directly from the President of the Church, who purportedly receives revelation as to where in the world each one should be sent.
Canonize - To remove knowledge from member awareness by placing it in scriptures.
Celestial Kingdom* The highest of three degrees of glory in the kingdom of heaven.
center place of Zion The "center place," Independence, Missouri, the future site of the City of Zion (the New Jerusalem) and the temple (D&C 57:3); sometimes incorrectly called "center stake."
Chapel: * is the building the branch or ward meets in every week. The room or hall in a Church meetinghouse used for worship services.
Child of God The Latter-day Saint belief that all persons are spirit children of God in the premortal existence and that this parent-child relationship continues on this earth and through eternity.
chosen people Specifically those selected by God for special responsibilities, often requiring service and sacrifice; participants in the covenant of the gospel.
Church of the Firstborn* Those who are exalted or assured of receiving exaltation.
Cohab:* See Polyg.
collection of fast offerings The collection of voluntary offerings on fast day, usually the first Sunday of each month.
Comforter* The scriptures speak of two Comforters. The First Comforter is the Holy Ghost. The Second Comforter is Jesus Christ (John 14:1623; see also TPJS, pp. 150-51).
Commandments, The
Common consent* The principle whereby Church members vote to sustain and approve those called to serve in the Church and decisions made by leaders.
common judge The bishop of each ward, who has the responsibility to judge the spiritual and temporal condition of members of his ward. The stake president of each stake serves as a common judge for all members of his stake.
Companion - A missionary's assigned partner. Often shortened to comp. See also companionship.
companion, missionary A missionary's partner. Missionaries in the Church always work in pairs.
companionship - A unit consisting of two partnered missionaries who spend all their time together and are assigned to proselyte in a specific area. See also companion.
Compassionate Service* Aid or comfort rendered to others, in particular by members of the Relief Society.
Conference Reports* The published proceedings of the general conferences of the Church.
Conference:* Where one goes twice a year to hear "Mo"-tivational speakers.
confirmation* The bestowal of the gift of the Holy Ghost to newly baptized members by holders of the Melchizedek Priesthood; also official recognition of Church membership.
Consecration, law of* A divine principle whereby men and women voluntarily dedicate their time, talents, and material wealth to the establishment and building up of God's kingdom.
Convert (noun) A person who has chosen to join The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints by being baptized and confirmed.
correlation meeting - Any of a broad spectrum of regularly scheduled meetings where Mormons in positions of responsibility get together to compare notes, swap gossip, and step on each other's toes as much a possible where their duties overlap.
correlation* A process by which all programs of the Church are identified and placed in proper relationship to each other: teachings, organizations, programs, meetings, and instructional materials.
Council in Heaven* The meeting in the premortal life of the Godhead and spirits designated for this earth, in which the plan of salvation was presented.
Council of the Twelve, the - See Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, the.
Counselor: A person called to serve as an adviser, assistant, and occasional substitute for an officer or leader in the Church.
court (Church)* A term formerly used to mean a Church disciplinary council.
Covenant Israel, Latter-Day
crickets (Mormon) A type of cricket that threatened the crops of early Mormon pioneers. The crops were saved when large flocks of seagulls came and devoured the crickets.
CTR-This stands for Choose The Right, and is often seen on rings that members wear as reminders.
Cultural Hall - A very large space in the exact center most Mormon meetinghouses, suitable for stage plays, banquets, Scout ceremonies, blood drives, wedding receptions, and so forth -- though most often used for basketball games.
cumom - According to the Book of Mormon, a "more especially useful" beast living in ancient America. See note for "curelom." See also elephant, horse, ass.
Cumorah* (1) A hill in which the Book of Mormon prophet Mormon concealed sacred records before the annihilation of his people; (2) the hill in New York State, near the town of Palmyra, where Joseph Smith unearthed the gold plates from which he translated the Book of Mormon.
curelom - According to the Book of Mormon, a "more especially useful" beast living, along with cumoms and elephants, in ancient America. No one knows for certain what a curelom or cumom looked like, but apologists have speculated that they may have been mammoths or mastodons, and that Joseph Smith knew no English word to use as translations from the Reformed Egyptian.
D
D - Slang for "discussion"; e.g., "How many D's did you teach this week, Elders?" See also discussions, the.
d.a. - See dinner appointment.
D&C - See Doctrine and Covenants.
damnation* (1) The opposite of salvation; (2) to be stopped in one's spiritual progress; (3) the suffering of various degrees of penalty at the final judgment by those who have not accepted the gospel of Jesus Christ and repented of their sins.
DAMU:* Disaffected Mormon Underground.
Danites* A small and briefly organized band of Mormon militia men in 1838 who became the source for anti-Mormon legends.
Darkness:* The total lack of any light for three days, where even the sun could not light up the clouds during the day, and no one could light a fire with dry wood for three days. Mormons easily accept this claim in Third Nephi, Chapter 8 without any question or doubt whatsoever, and that has to be real "spiritual darkness!"
Daughters of the Whore:* LDS scriptural name for Protestant churches, the whore being the Roman Catholic Church.
Deacon:* Worthy boys age 12 to 14 are "ordained" into the Aaronic priesthood of which the office of deacon is the first held. Deacons pass the sacrament in LDS church services.
Dear Jane - A gender-reversed "Dear John" letter.
Dear John - A letter to a missionary from his significant other, informing him that she has failed to successfully wait. Often accompanied by a wedding announcement linking the significant other with one of the missionary's former companions. See also "Dear Jane."
Degrees of Glory* The celestial, terrestrial, and telestial kingdoms in heaven.
denying the Holy Ghost d (1) In general terms, rejecting a spiritual witness given by the Holy Ghost; (2) another term for blasphemy against the Holy Ghost, which is an unpardonable sin.
Deseret* A Book of Mormon word meaning "honey bee," often used in titles of LDS institutions or by businesses in areas with concentrated LDS populations. A territory marked out by Brigham Young and his followers, originally comprising all of Utah, most of Nevada & Arizona, and parts of the states of California, Idaho, New Mexico, Oregon and Wyoming. The word comes from the BoM where it is glossed as "Bee".
Desert Tea:* See Mormon Tea [DAW].
die - In mission parlance, to be released from one's mission and return home; e.g., "I hope I die here in Babylonville, Elder. I'd hate to have to adjust to a whole new area before going home." Derived by analogy with the process in Mormon theology whereby spirits leave their premortal existence, are born physically and die on earth, then return to the spirit realm to await resurrection and judgment.
dinner appointment - An occasion when a member family invites the local missionaries over for dinner. The Church encourages this activity because a) it gives the missionaries a chance to remind the members that they should be introducing non-members of their acquaintance to the Restored Gospel, and b) it assures the missionaries of nutritious hot meals on occasion.
Disciplinary Procedures* The process of bringing a Church member before a priesthood officer or disciplinary council to account for alleged transgressions against Church standards and to take necessary steps toward repentance.
discussion - A lesson taught by missionaries to an investigator. So named, I believe, so as to minimize in investigators the feeling of being taught a rote catechetical sermon by inviting dialogue and greater back-and-forth participation. The current curriculum for prospective members includes six discussions, each about an hour in length, which cover the very most basic tenets of the Restored Gospel. Each discussion consists of several principles, which the missionaries are free to put across in their own words, adapting to the necessities of the situation. Companions usually take turns teaching principles. Most discussions end with an invitation to baptism. Most invitations to baptism end with a shake of the head. See also discussions, the.
discussions, the - A term applied broadly to the set of six missionary discussions, or to the process of teaching them to an investigator. A structured lesson on basic gospel principles presented to interested nonmembers.
disfellowshipment* A disciplinary action against a Church member that severely restricts participation in Church activity but falls short of excommunication.
Dispensation of the Fulness of Times
Dispensation A period of time in which priesthood authority and keys are established among mankind. The present dispensation, the last before the second coming of Christ, is called the "fulness of times."
Distribution Center* Centrally located outlets from which Church publications and other supplies are distributed.
district activity - A recreational activity designed to strengthen bonds of friendship, community, and purpose between the members of a district. Also, an excuse for goofing around. Contrast district meeting. See also zone activity.
District Leader - A missionary assigned to supervise usually two to four companionships, encompassing from four to eight other missionaries. Often shortened to d.l. See also zone leader.
district meeting - A weekly meeting at which the members of a district convene to report on their achievements of the past week, set performance goals for the next week, practice their teaching skills, and decide on someplace cool to go for lunch. Also, an excuse for goofing around. Contrast district activity.
District* (1) An ecclesiastical unit consisting of several branches of the Church in a geographic area where stakes are not organized; (2) a unit of organization in missions, consisting of missionaries and presided over by an experienced missionary called the district leader. A geographical area consisting usually of two to four companionships, encompassing from four to eight missionaries and supervised by a district leader. See also zone.
Doctrine and Covenants:* A volume of Latter-day Saint scripture containing selected revelations given to Joseph Smith and his successors in the presidency of the Church. A collection of revelations received primarily by Joseph Smith, though other latter-day prophets are also represented. One of the four canonized works of Mormon scripture. Often shortened to D & C
double-digit midget - Mission slang for a missionary with less than a hundred days of service remaining.
Dugout:* [DAW] Type of early Mormon log cabin.
dunk - Mission parlance for baptism. Can be used as either a noun or a verb; e.g., "How many dunks have you scored this month, Elder? Are you going to dunk anyone else before the month is over?" So derived because Mormons baptize by total immersion.
E
Early Morning Seminary LDS religion courses for high school students offered before the normal school day begins.
Efy.
elder brother A name or title of Jesus Christ, the firstborn of all Heavenly Father's spirit children.
Elders Quorum A group consisting of men holding the office of Elder in the Melchizedek Priesthood. An office in the Melchizedek Priesthood; a title designating a holder of this priesthood, a General Authority, or a male missionary.
Elohim* God the Father.
Empty Sea - A slang reference to the M.T.C.
Endowment* Ordinances of instruction and covenant performed by and for individuals in temples.
Enduring to the End* The doctrine that converted individuals must continue to show their faith through good works till the end of mortal life.
Ensign* (1) Since 1971, the official monthly periodical published by the Church. (2) a standard or flag.
Ephraim* The son of Joseph who was sold into Egypt, and heir to the birthright. The patriarchal blessings of many Latter-day Saints declare them to be of the lineage of Ephraim.
Eternal investigator - An investigator who takes the discussions repeatedly, often for years, without ever joining the Church. Sometimes, though not always, this is because the investigator simply enjoys the company of missionaries. Missionaries are counseled to limit the amount of time they spend with eternal investigators and to focus on more immediate prospects. (But eternal investigators are usually so much more interesting than the other kind!)
Eternal life* Exaltation in the highest degree of the celestial kingdom; often spoken of as "eternal lives."
Eternal Progression: Endless increase in glory and dominion.
eternity A synonym for "endless" as contrasted to things of mortality.
evangelist* The office of patriarch in the Melchizedek Priesthood.
even = as in ...thy Son, even the Lord Jesus Christ (Hinckley genitive)
exaltation* Attainment of the highest degree of glory in the celestial kingdom.
Excommunication A disciplinary action against a Church member in which membership is withdrawn.
Ex-Mormon or Exmormon:* Apostates-R-Us. Perdition Mission. The Church of the Latter-Day-Down-to-Earth People. Hellots.
F
Faith promoting rumor:* Something that didn't happen or isn't true that we pretend did happen or is true, because it makes us feel good. Mormon urban legend.
Fall, The
Families Can Be Together Forever
Family, The: A Proclamation to the World
Family History - Activity in the LDS Church that involves tracing one's lineage and composing ancestral histories.
Family History Library* The Church's repository of genealogical and historical data, the largest of its kind in the world, with branch libraries in more than 1,400 stake centers.
Family Home Evening:* FHE. A program in which families gather (usually on Monday evening) for family-centered spiritual training and social activities.
Family Registry(TM) A service provided by the Family History Department of the Church to help people who are doing research on the same family lines to cooperate and share results.
FamilySearch An automated computer system designed to simplify the task of family history research.
farewell - See mission farewell.
Fast - To go without food for a specific purpose. In L.D.S. circles, this means skipping usually one or two meals in an act of discipline designed to tame the bodily appetites and bring a person more in tune with spiritual things. Fasting is normally coupled with prayer, and very often people fast when they are in need of a special sort of help from God, as a way to make their prayers more effective. It may also facilitate the sort of kinesthetic hallucinations which many people interpret as spiritual visitations. See also fast-and-testimony meeting, fast offering, Fast Sunday.
Fast Offering* Donation of at least the value of meals not eaten on fast Sunday, given to the bishop for the relief of the needy. - In L.D.S. culture, a necessary accompaniment to fasting in which the faster donates to the Church an amount of money equal to or greater than the cost of the skipped meals. The money is earmarked directly for assistance to the poor (not a bad idea, actually). Think of it as "guilt money." On Fast Sundays, deacons are sent from house to house to troll for fast offerings from inactive members.
Fast Sunday - In the L.D.S. Church, the one Sunday set aside per month when all members who are physcially able to fast are expected to do so. See also fast-and-testimony meeting, fast offering. - Usually the first Sunday of each month, on which Church members refrain from food or drink for two meals and donate the equivalent cost to the Church to assist the poor and needy. The sacrament meeting on each fast Sunday, called fast and testimony meeting, is devoted to the voluntary bearing of testimony by members.
fast-and-testimony meeting - A testimony meeting held on Fast Sundays in place of the normal sacrament meeting, where the time normally given over to sermons is devoted to allowing volunteers from the congregation to bear their testimonies. Suffering hungry through a fast-and-testimony meeting is one of the most agonizing ordeals that Mormons are required to undergo.
Fellowshipping Members* The activity of encouraging established Church members to help new or inactive members to participate in Church practices.
Fetch:* Mormon exclamation meaning to "mess up". Slang for the F word. See also: Flip. A word used by Mormon missionaries the world over as an all-purpose substitute for the F word. Synonymous with "flip."
field - See mission field.
filling the canteen = a boy trying to kiss as many girls as he can before he leaves for his mission
Firesides* Informal gatherings of Church members and friends, often in homes and usually on Sundays, that feature a speaker or program of a spiritual theme. Occasionally Churchwide firesides are held under the direction of the First Presidency. An evening Church service in which a touchie-feelie speaker addresses a group of Latter-day Saints on a gospel-related topic. The earliest firesides were held in people's homes -- thus the name -- and while some still are, the term has broadened to include any evening address, whether it be in a family room or in a chapel or via satellite from Salt Lake City.
First Contact:* The first meeting when the missionaries meet their investigator.
First Counselor - In the Mormon ecclesiastical hierarchy, the first of usually two assistants called to aid a bishop, a stake president, etc., in the administration of his assigned jurisdiction, i.e., ward, stake, and so forth. See also bishopric, First Presidency, stake presidency.
First Ministry of Jesus Christ:* Jesus having taken a physical body, and come to earth to establish the kingdom of God, was apparently incompetent and lacking in inspiration, for He made numerous mistakes and ultimately failed to impact humanity and complete His Mission - in fact creating such a mess with that Great Abominable Church, it seems like we would have all been better off had Jesus just stayed home and really gotten serious about carpentry. As it turns out, Peter was not the Rock upon He would build his church, but rather Peter was to return like Ben Kenobi bestow upon Luke Skywalker the Jedi Priesthood. In fact it seems Jesus was set up by His Father In Heaven for complete failure, just so that Joseph Smith could come down here and clean up all that mess Jesus had started... Leave it to Jesus, right?
First Presidency of the Church
First Presidency, the - The supreme governing body of the L.D.S. Church, consisting of a president (or prophet) and an unspecified number of counselors, usually two.
First Presidency* The President of the Church and his counselors; the highest ranking quorum in the Church.
first principles and ordinances of the gospel* Faith in Jesus Christ, repentance, baptism by immersion in water for the remission of sins, and the laying on of hands for the gift of the Holy Ghost.
First Principles of the Gospel
First Quorum of the Seventy, the - A governing body of the L.D.S. Church subordinate only to the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles.
First Vision* The initial appearance of God the Father and Jesus Christ to Joseph Smith in the spring of 1820 near Palmyra, New York, marking the beginning of the restoration of the gospel.
Flip:* Mormon exclamation meaning to "mess up". Slang for many common curse words. See also: Fetch. A word used by Mormon missionaries the world over as an all-purpose substitute for the s word. Synonymous with "fetch."
Following the Brethren* Heeding the counsel of local and general leaders of the Church.
FoMo:* Formerly Mormon.
Food Storage - Organic substances which promote good health among the brethren, not by consumption, but through a rigorous weightlifting program. A supply of food necessary to sustain life for a year. Church leaders encourage members, where possible, to store food, clothing, fuel, and other items in preparation for emergencies.
Foreordination* The doctrine that individuals were called and set apart in the premortal existence to perform certain roles in mortal life, should they so choose.
Freaking:* Mormon acceptable alternative to the f word. See also "Friggin."
Free Agency - The L.D.S. belief in every person's absolute right to choose his or her own beliefs and actions.
Frick or Frickin':* A word used by contemporary mormons as a surrogate for the f word.
Friend, The* Since 1971, the Church periodical for children.
Frigging (or freaking):* A euphemism for the "F" word as used by the righteous.
fruitcake = at BYU spaz, fruity, and fruitcake mean crazy and not gay.
fruity = at BYU spaz, fruity, and fruitcake mean crazy and not gay.
Fullness of the Gospel* The doctrine, ordinances, authority, and organization necessary to enable individuals to attain salvation.
Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Later Day Saints, The
Fundamentalist Mormons:* these both practice and believe in plural marriages and hold to very fundamental teachings taught by early church leaders like Joseph Smith, Brigham Young and John Taylor.
Fundamentalists:* Fundies. People who still actually practice historical Mormon doctrine.
G
g.a. - See general authority.
g's - Slang for garments.
GA's - See general authority.
Gabriel A person spoken of in Daniel 8:16 and Luke 1:11-19, identified as Noah by the Prophet Joseph Smith.
Garments - The sacred underclothing worn by many Mormons as a reminder of the covenants undertaken in the Temple as part of the endowment ceremony. The garments are to be worn at all times -- except during bathing, sports, and certain other activities -- and are not to be shown to or handled by non-members. Despite apocryphal claims that Mormons killed in various types of accidents have suffered no injury on the parts of their bodies covered by the garments, the Church teaches that the garments offer only spiritual and not physical protection.
Gathering, The
gator - slang for "investigator."
Genealogical Work:* Mormons have been taught that they must research out their relatives. They fill out family group sheets and pedigree charts to establish links to the past. They present these records to the Mormon temple so that people can be baptized by proxy for the dead, then later adult "temple Mormons" will go through an endowment session by proxy for the relative. Later others will go into a sealing room and by proxy have entire families sealed together so they can be together in the Celestial Kingdom.
General Authority - Catch-all term for a member of any of the governing bodies of the L.D.S. Church, including the First Presidency, the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, the First and Second Quorums of the Seventy, and the Presiding Bishopric. Also applies to the Patriarch of the Church. Often shortened to g.a.
General Conference General assemblies of Church members in Salt Lake City, regularly convened every April and October.
General Conference Reports:* Chloroform in print. Statistics only making sense when viewed with your "spiritual eyes."
General Handbook of Instructions
General Relief Society Presidency
General Relief Society Presidents
Gentile - An individual who is not a Mormon - yet. - Used to refer to any non-Mormon. This is a non-stigmatic term, as opposed to "heathen." - According to the context in which it is used, the following meanings are possible for Latter-day Saints: (1) one not of the lineage of Israel; (2) a non-Latter-day Saint; (3) one who is not Jewish; (4) one who is not a Lamanite.
Gilead. Balm of
God:* an exalted man who once lived on a planet like ours and proved obedient. He received "priesthood" and went through a temple having his family sealed to him. He and his wives are having spiritual babies for other planets as his kingdom eternally expands "eternal progression." Mormons believe in a trinity of purpose not substance. Doctrine & Covenants 130:3 reads "the appearance of the Father and Son in that verse [Jn 14:23], is a personal appearance; and the idea that the Father and Son dwell in a man's heart is an old sectarian notion, and is false." Later in the same section in verse 22 Smith wrote "the Father has a body of flesh and bones as tangible as man's; the Son also; but the Holy Ghost has not a body of flesh and bones, but is a personage of Spirit. Were it not so, the Holy Ghost could not dwell in us." In the current temple endowment, as in the past, God the Father is introduced as being "Elohim," God the Son is introduced as "Jehovah," and the "Michael" is introduced as the third major person among the gods of creation. Many Mormons believe Michael was Adam's premortal name.
Godhead:* "The Father has a body of flesh and bones as tangible as man's; the Son also; but the Holy Ghost has not a body of flesh and bones, but is a personage of Spirit. Were it not so, the Holy Ghost could not dwell in us." Doctrine and Covenants 130:22 "I will preach on the plurality of Gods. I have selected this text for that express purpose. I wish to declare I have always and in all congregations when I have preach on the subject of the Deity, it has been the plurality of Gods. It has been preached by the Elders for fifteen years."
Gold Plates* The anciently engraved metal plates from which Joseph Smith translated the Book of Mormon.
Golden - A term applied to investigators who are primed and ready to join the Church, often before even meeting the missionaries, and for whom taking the discussions is merely a formality before baptism.
Golden Bible:* see Mormon Bible.
Golden Plates, the - The engraved record delivered by the angel Moroni to the prophet Joseph Smith, from which the Book of Mormon was purportedly translated. The plates were seen by only a few select witnesses, whose testimony can be found in the front of current editions of the Book of Mormon. Shortly after the work of translation was complete, Moroni returned and took the plates back to whatever dimension he originally came from.
Gospel* The "good news" of redemption through Jesus Christ; the principles and ordinances of the plan of salvation.
Grace:* Divine help given through the mercy of Jesus Christ. It is an enabling power that allows men and women to receive eternal life and exaltation after they have expended their own best efforts.
Great and Abominable Church* All assemblies, congregations, or associations of people not authorized by God and that fight against God and his purposes
Greenie - A term applied to new missionaries based on the metaphor of un-ripened fruit. Because, unlike other missionaries, they are not yet sweet, round and soft in the middle. - Greenhorn. A missionary new to the field, freshly arrived from the M.T.C. Butt of jokes and victim of mostly harmless initiation rites.
H
Hear - as in let them that have ears hear.
Heart Heaven* (1) The dwelling place of God; (2) any kingdom of glory.
Heck:* Mormons avoid saying "Hell"
Hell* (1) The condition of misery one may feel after sinning; (2) the temporary dwelling place of the unrepentant till the judgment day.
Hie:* What you have to do to get to Kolob.
High Council* A group of twelve high priests (and sometimes alternates) who help direct the affairs of a stake.
High Priest:* worthy adult male leaders who have proven worthy elders. They "administer" ward and stake leadership as a bishops, high counselors, or stake presidencies. - An office in the Melchizedek Priesthood.
Higher law, a - The authority to which Mormons appeal when the laws of the land inconvenience the fulfillment of their desires. Nowhere mentioned in Joseph Smith's twelfth Article of Faith: "We believe in being subject to kings, presidents, rulers, and magistrates, in obeying, honoring, and sustaining the law."
Holy Ghost* The third member of the Godhead, a personage of Spirit.
Home Teachers - The men in the ward are paired up and asked to visit usually three to four families each month. They are supposed to talk with the families, and give a lesson. Home teachers are supposed to provide extra support for those families, be aware of their needs and help in any way they can.
Home Teaching A Church program in which priesthood holders regularly visit assigned homes of members.
homemaking One of three areas of emphasis in the Relief Society of the Church.
Honor Code of BYU
hooked-up = beginning an exclusive dating relationship; getting married
Hot drinks: * (Word of Wisdom) Including iced tea and coffee, but not hot soup or hot chocolate. house
Humor - need to include lightmindedness
hump day - The halfway point in a mission. For an elder, this comes one year into his mission; for a sister, it comes nine months into hers.
I
Improvement Era, The* An official publication of the Church, 1897-1970.
Indian student placement* The practice of bringing LDS American Indian children to live in LDS homes during the school year. Also known as Indian Student Placement Program or Indian Student Placement Services
Inspired Version of the Bible Another name for the Joseph Smith Translation of the Bible.
Institute of Religion* Weekday religious instruction for students attending colleges, universities, and other postsecondary schools. College and university outreaches with college level course work which are often accepted by students transferring to LDS colleges and universities.
Instructor, the
International Genealogical Index or IGI
Investigator - A prospective member of the L.D.S. Church, usually one who is being actively taught the discussions by the missionaries. A person who is interested in the Church and is receiving missionary instruction.
Iron Rod An image from Lehi's dream in the Book of Mormon, meaning "the word of God"-suggesting straitness and security.
Israel* (1) Members of the Church; (2) the Old Testament patriarch Jacob and his descendants.
J
Jack Mormon - Once a term which referred to a non-member friendly toward the Church. Now refers to a Mormon who does not practice Church teachings and does not bother to conceal the fact, as by publicly smoking and drinking, or by having too much fun on a Sunday.
Jackson County (Missouri)
Jay Dub - Mission slang for a Jehovah's Witness. So derived from a shortening of the initials J.W.
Jehovah - Another name for Jesus Christ, particularly in the Old Testament.
Jehovah's Witnesses:* Like Mormons, but without the weirder bits.
Jello Belt: * Area of land from Rexburg, Idaho to Snowflake, Arizona (see Zion Curtain).
Johnny Mormon:* Gentile term meaning a typical Mormon. The male version of Molly Mormon cf similar forms like John Doe, Johnny Reb, etc.
Joseph Smith Memorial Building
Joseph Smith Translation of the Bible aka JST* The translation of the Bible by Joseph Smith, begun in 1830, which resulted in his receiving many doctrinal revelations.
Josephite:* A follower of Joseph Smith III, the son of Joseph Smith Jr. They formed a larger group than the Brighamites originally, and did not head to Utah. They became the RLDS, now known as the Community of Christ.
Journal of Discourses* A collection of sermons by LDS leaders, 1854-1886 (26 volumes); it is not an official source for Church doctrine.
Judgment Day, Final
K
Keys of the Priesthood* The right to exercise or direct authority, perform ordinances, or to preside over a priesthood function, quorum, or Church organization.
Kicker - Washington Spokane Mission slang for a lazy missionary who habitually breaks the rules. This may be derived from the New Testament passage in which the Lord appears to Saul on the road to Damascus and says, "I am Jesus whom thou persecutest: it is hard for thee to kick against the pricks" (Acts 9:5). Then again, perhaps it's derived from the simple phrase "to kick back," meaning "to relax." Beats me. See also bucket.
Kingdom of God* (1) God's dominion; (2) the Church; (3) the political government of God.
Kirtland (Ohio)
Kolob - According to Mormon mythology, the star about which orbits the planet on which God lives.
L
L.D.S. - See Latter-Day Saint.
Lamanites* (1) An Israelite people in the Book of Mormon, descendants of Joseph of Egypt through Lehi and Ishmael; (2) today, many American Indians.
Latter-Day Saint - Member of the Mormon Church. Taken from the Church's official moniker. Used in abbreviation as an adjectivial reference to things Mormon; See also Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, The, saint.
Laying on of Hands The placing of hands by those holding priesthood authority on the head of a member to confer authority, office, calling, or blessing.
Leadership conference - A regular series of training meetings for the district leaders, zone leaders, and assistants to the president in a mission.
Legend - A missionary whose successes and/or exploits were so amazing and inspirational that his fame lives on in the mission long after his release -- sometimes for years afterward. Most legends tend to accrete around righteous, upright missionaries, though it is rumored that there exists a subculture in which legendary tales of bold rulebreaking are passed down from one generation of elders to the next. But I wouldn't know anything about that.
Leopard Sweat:* [DAW] Moonshine -> Valley Tan.
Less Valiant In The Pre-Existence
Levitical Priesthood* The lesser priesthood. (See also Aaronic Priesthood.)
Light of Christ.* The power of Christ infused in all creation.
Line of authority (1) A priesthood bearer's "priesthood lineage," that is, a sequential listing of ordinations tracing one's own priesthood authority through priesthood leaders to the apostles and Jesus Christ.
Living Christ, The
M
M.T.C. - See Missionary Training Center.
Magnifying One's Calling * Measuring up to the duties to which one may be called.
Manifesto of 1890 * The pronouncement that the Church had officially ended the practice of polygamy.
Manuscript, Lost 116 Pages
Marriage, Eternal * The doctrine that the bonds of marriage may continue into the eternities if a man and a woman are sealed in a temple and continue faithful to their covenants.
Martyrdom of Joseph and Hyrum Smith * The murder of Joseph and Hyrum Smith by a mob in Carthage, Illinois, on June 27, 1844.
Marvelous work and a wonder A reference to a prophecy of Isaiah (29:1-14) concerning the restoration of the gospel and the coming forth of the Book of Mormon.
Matrix, The
MAV * Mormon Assault Vehicle. Short for Mormon-owned mini-vans full of blond-haired children.
MBT * Member by Tradition, as opposed to TBM - True Believing Mormon.
Melchizedek Priesthood * The higher priesthood, including the offices of elder, seventy, high priest, patriarch, and apostle, and focused upon the spiritual things of the gospel (cf. with Aaronic Priesthood). all worthy adult males hold this priesthood. Offices within the Melchizedek priesthood are elder, seventy, high priest, patriarch and apostle. This priesthood is extremely important to Mormons and particularly as it applies to the temple work.
Mericat:* [DAW] Native term for non-Mormon Anglo (from "American"?)
Meridian of Time - The era in which Jesus Christ lived. The term is derived from the fact that time, in Western civilization, is measured backward and forward from the approximate date of his birth.
Michael The archangel, - identified in LDS teachings as Adam.*
Millennial Star * The official publication of the Church in the United Kingdom, 1840-1970.
Mishie:* Slang for Mormon Elder or Sister serving full time as a missionary.
Mission - (1) The period of service, usually two years, in which a young man or woman gives up a real life in exchange for serving the Lord. (2) Also used to denote a single geographical region, administered by a mission president, in which missionaries are assigned to serve.
Mission Call - The official notice a prospective missionary receives of where he will be assigned to labor. See also call, calling.
Mission Farewell - The Sunday church meeting at which a departing missionary offers his testimony before entering the Missionary Training Center. Mission farewells used to be more elaborate affairs than they are now. Both of the departing missionary's parents would also speak during the program, and other family members would be likely to perform musical numbers or offer prayers. In recent years, the general authorities have attempted to scale down mission farewells, particularly by not permitting family members to plan the program and by discouraging families from holding "open houses" after the meetings. Predictably, given the social nature of the Mormon animal, that's one of the dicta from Salt Lake that hasn't gone over very well.
Mission field - Metaphorical term used by Mormons to indicate the non-specific place where missionary work takes place -- as distinguished from the places where they live. Derived from a passage in the Doctrine and Covenants, referring to the great number of souls awaiting conversion, that says, "For behold the field is white already to harvest" (D & C 4:4).
Mission Home - (1) The residence of a mission president and his family. (2) Predecessor of the MTC.
Mission Office - The administrative headquarters of a mission.
Mission Reunions - An event at which returned missionaries who served together under the same mission president gather. Usually held in conjunction with General Conference in April or October.
Mission President - A leader appointed for a period of three years to oversee and administer a specific geographical mission of the Church, supervising usually one to two hundred missionaries.
Missionary - A proselytizing representative of the L.D.S. Church. Most missionaries are young males who serve for a period of two years at their own expense -- or, more likely, at the expense of their families. Young women serve for a period of eighteen months, and older couples serve for six, twelve, or eighteen months. Young single men become eligible to serve missions at the age of nineteen, whereas young single woman (being, of course, encouraged to consider multiplying and replenishing the earth as a higher priority) are not eligible until the age of twenty-one. All young men are encouraged to go on missions -- and may find themselves censured by the community if they do not. Mission service is such an important rite of passage that many parents offer their sons what amounts to bribes in order to coax them into the field. It is not uncommon for returned missionaries to be rewarded with a car, with college tuition, or with, in my case, a newly finished bedroom all to himself in the attic of his family's house. Missionaries are expected to devote all their time and energy to the task of preaching the Restored Gospel. They dress and groom conservatively and are not permitted to engage in such worldly activities as dating, watching movies or television, reading newspapers, magazines, or books not officially approved for missionary consumption, listening to music not performed by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, and any other pastime designed to stave off imminent insanity. Children are trained early to look forward to mission service, by learning to sing such songs as "I Hope They Call Me on a Mission" in Primary. See also "best two years of my life, the," elder, mission president, sister missionary.
Missionary Assault Vehicle:* An ancient mountain bike with bald tires and no brakes.
Missionary Couple:* People who engage in coupling on a frequent basis in the missionary field.
Missionary Discussions Basic gospel lessons missionaries use to teach interested people about the Church and its doctrines.
Missionary Training Center MTC * Centers where formally called missionaries are instructed and trained before departure to assigned missions. - A complex of dormitories and classrooms adjacent to Brigham Young University in Provo, Utah, where newly called missionaries go for training before being sent to their assigned missions. Those learning to teach the discussions in their native tongues stay at the Missionary Training Center for three weeks. Those learning a foreign language stay for eight weeks. Usually shortened to M.T.C.
Missionary Work - The act of attempting to convert souls to the Restored Gospel. All Mormons are encouraged to perform missionary work, though most prefer to leave it to the ordained missionaries.
MMM:* Mountain Meadow Massacre. Murdering Mormon marauders. Mormon Millennial Madness.
Moho, meaning Mormon homosexual.
moisture (as opposed to rain, snow, etc.)
Molly - A perjorative adjective referring to behavior typical of a dewy-eyed Mormon girl; e.g., "Buying herself a sewing machine was such a Molly thing for my wife to do." Derived by shortening Molly Mormon
Molly Mormon:* Derogatory name for the stereotypical young Mormon female. Sometimes shortened simply to "Molly." See also Peter Priesthood.
Mollywood:* Salt Lake City. Relief Society. Brigham Young Studios. Mormon themed film production including: The RM, Singles Ward, The Book of Mormon Movie, The Work and the Glory, Seminary videos, church PR campaign segments, etc.
Mopologist:* A Mormon apologist.
Morg:* Mormon ORGanization. An unthinking member of the Church. This has its origin in Star Trek the Next Generation. "The Borg" are a collective of various different humanoid species which have been "assimilated" into a huge community. Each member of the collective is incapable of individuality. All actions are determined by the collective mind and are for the benefit of the collective, its future existence, and continual growth. The Borg are characterized by their cold lack of compassion or emotion, and ruthless pursuit of the goals of the collective, if necessary at the expense of the individual "drones" or members of the collective. Morg = Mormon + Borg. Also, Morg is a homonym for Morgue, representing death of the individual or spirit which often results in fully submitting one's will to the Church.
Mormanism - common misspelling of Mormonism
Mormanity:* The Latter-day Saint sub-section of humanity. Wherever two or more Mormons gather. The state of Utah.
Mormon - A prophet of ancient America, according to L.D.S. teachings. Compiler and abridger of the original engraved plates from which the Book of Mormon was purportedly translated. Also, a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, so nicknamed due to belief in the divine nature of the Book of Mormon, or an adverbial reference to things related to the Church.
Mormon Assault Vehicle or MAV:* A Chrysler or Dodge mini-van.
Mormon Bible:* Gentile name for Book of Mormon, also called golden because of the plates. Can be found in some early sources about the religion. An old Western expression according to DAW is "to take a davy on the Mormon Bible", meaning to swear on something considered worthless or stupid, by non-Mormons.
Mormon Blanket:* [RA] Patchwork quilt made of smaller scraps.
Mormon Oiler:* Derog. Mormon Mexican.
Mormon Standard Time - Twenty minutes late. The LDS belief that time is merely a transient illusion associated with our mortal existence.
Mormon Tabernacle Choir Broadcast ("The Spoken Word")
Mormon Tabernacle Choir* The large lay choir that broadcasts weekly from Temple Square in Salt Lake City.
Mormon-Brake:*[D.A.W] A log tied behind a cart to slow it down when going downhill.
Mormon-Buckskin:* [RA] Baling wire.
Mormon-Buggy:* [D.A.W] Light springed wagon with fringed top.
Mormon-Currency:* Carrots.
Mormon-Derrick:* [RA] Type of crane for lifting hay off carts.
Mormon-Dip:* [RA] Milk gravy.
Mormon-Dog:* [DAW] Can with pebbles used as a rattle to control cattle when no dogs are available.
Mormon-Hobbles:* [DAW] Hobbles made of metal like a puzzle to deter native rustlers.
Mormon-Iron:* [DAW] Rawhide.
Mormon-shirttail:* [RA] Short-sleeved shirt.
Mormon-tangle:* [DAW] A packerís knot, also known as the ìsquaw hitchî.
Mormon-tea:* [DAW] A brew made from plants of the genus "ephedra." (Although it contains no caffeine, it does contain ephedrine. Apparently drunk by some 19th Century Mormons.)
Mormon-Tree - [DAW] The Lombardy poplar (Populus nigra), a fast growing tree used for hedging etc.
Mormons * Unofficial terms for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and its members; members prefer to use the official name of the Church and to be referred to as Latter-day Saints.
Mormondom - [DAW] ñ Mormon country, Utah and environs.
Mormoness - Old word for Mormon woman.
Mormonite :* Old word for Mormon.
Mormonopoly - The Church's ownership and acquisition of non-religious real estate. Example: There's a Mormonopoly in downtown Salt Lake.
Mormonry:* [DAW] Arch. Mormonism.
Mormotone - The cadence of speech often used by General Authorities during talks, especially at General Conference.
Moroni - (1) A Nephite military leader, c. 60 Be; (2) a Book of Mormon prophet, c. AD 420 who in 1827, as a resurrected being, gave Joseph Smith the gold plates from which Joseph translated the Book of Mormon. A statue of Moroni is placed atop some LDS temples and on the hill Cumorah.
Mother in Heaven - The teaching that spirits born on this earth have their premortal origins with a literal Heavenly Mother as well as a Heavenly Father.
Motrix - A society based on Mormon beliefs.
Mountain Meadows Massacre - An incident in which certain Indian and Southern Utah Mormons participated in the massacre of a wagon train of immigrants passing through the Territory of Utah, 1857.
MTC - The shortened name of the Mission Training Center. The most well known missionary training center is in Provo, Utah, but there are numerous centers all over the world. Formally called missionaries go to the centers for training and instruction. Missionaries going places where they will be speaking a different language stay longer to learn the language.
much of... = as in much of happiness (Hinckley genitive)
Mutual - Weekly activities for the teenage members of the Church. These are put together on a ward or congregation level. - The Church's auxiliary organization for youth ages twelve through eighteen, for many years called the Mutual Improvement Association, or MIA.
N
Name Extraction Program* Systematic transcription of genealogical information from original vital records.
Nature, Law of
Nauvoo, Illinois
Neighbor:* See "Friend."
Nephites * The Book of Mormon teaches a family left Jerusalem prior to its destruction. Lehi was the father and Nephi was the faithful son after which a godly civilization that the Book of Mormon said spread over the continent of America. The ungodly son Laman for which another civilization of ungodly works was also spread far and wide. LDS scholars have no problem locating Lamanites because pre-Columbian pagans were in fact all pagan. The missing link in Mesoamerican archeology and history for the Mormons are the Nephites. No one has ever found a single scrap of evidence for them.
New and Everlasting Covenant* The gospel of Jesus Christ. All covenants between God and mankind are part of the new and everlasting covenant.
New Era* Since 1971, the Church periodical for young people.
New Jerusalem* The administrative headquarters of the kingdom of God in the Western Hemisphere during Christ's millennial reign.
Newly-Wed and Nearly-Dead:* An LDS ward usually located in the poorer sections of Utah towns where only newly weds or nearly deads (the elderly) can afford to live.
Nibleyism:* A made-up factoid which supports Mormonism.
NoMo:* Never was a Mormon.
Non-Mormon:* Anyone who does not believe that x = x + 1 can be a true statement as long as you get a good feeling about it.
Nourish and strengthen - Part of most blessings on the food. This is due to a secret desire of all Mormon men to resemble the pictures of Nephites in the old Book of Mormons. (See food storage.)
O
Oath and Covenant of the Priesthood
office (1) A position of authority, duty, or trust in the Church organization; (2) an ordained calling or assignment to serve in the priesthood.
Oil, Consecrated
Ordinances* A performance or prescribed ceremony related to the reception of a blessing, covenant, or ordination, such as baptism, confirmation, endowment, marriage, etc., performed by one who has been ordained to the priesthood and authorized to perform the ordinance.
Outer Darkness A region totally removed from the light and glory of God, to which Satan and his followers will be consigned.
Oxymormon:* Robert Kirby.
P
p-day - Short for "preparation day." Missionaries have one day of the week set aside for preparatory activities such as housecleaning, shopping, laundry, letter-writing, and, oh yes, recreation. Officially, missionaries are supposed to wear their suits and ties on p-day, except when participating in sporting activities. In reality, there are no ties in sight on p-day. Officially, p-day starts at 6:30 am and ends at 6:30 pm. In reality, the fun often starts at 10:30 the night before, and doesn't end until until late in the p-day night.
Paradise* The dwelling place of the spirits of the righteous dead who await resurrection and judgment.
Patriarch* (1) An office in the Melchizedek Priesthood; (2) a holder of that. office in the Melchizedek Priesthood who gives patriarchal blessings; (3) an evangelist; (4) the father of a family.
Patriarchal Blessing - A formal blessing given by an ordained patriarch in which the recipient's lineage from one of the tribes of Israel is usually declared, exhortations are given, and spiritual gifts and life-missions are specified.
Patriarchal Order of the Priesthood
Pearl of Great Price* One of the standard works of the Church, containing the book of Moses, the book of Abraham, Joseph Smith-Matthew (a translation of Matthew 24), the Joseph Smith-History, and the Articles of Faith.
PEC - Priesthood Executive Committee.
Perdition, Sons of
Perpetual Education Fund (PEF)
Perpetual Emigration Fund (PEF)
Personal Ancestral File® (PAF)* A genealogical software package produced by the Church.
Peter Priesthood - Derogatory name for the stereotypical young Mormon male. See also Molly Mormon.
Pioneer Day* July 24, celebration of the anniversary of the arrival of the Latter-day Saints in Salt Lake Valley in 1847.
Plan of salvation* The plan presented in the premortal existence providing for the creation, fall, probation, death, resurrection, judgment, salvation, and exaltation of mankind.
Plural Marriage* The doctrine that a man may be authorized by revelation from God through the living prophet to have more than one living wife.
Plyg:*: A term to denote a polygamist or the child of a polygamist.
Polyg:* Nickname for someone in a polygamous marriage, especially one of the wives, also "cohab".
Polygamy The practice of having more than one wife; more accurately, polygyny.
Postum - A drink made from barley and enjoyed by a good many Mormons.
PPI - Personal Priesthood Interview
Pre-Existence (Pre-Earthly Existence)
Preemie - This term is used to describe a young man who has not yet gone on a mission. The term is most commonly heard on LDS university campuses.
Preexistence:* It is hard to understand Mormonism without understanding this doctrine. In some ways they have some very fatalistic values based on "present life" conditions being based on "past life" behavior. They believe if a person is born into a Mormon family in America that this means they were valiant faithful spirits in the preexistence. See premortal life.
Premortal Life* The doctrine of life as a spirit being before mortality. It is also called pre-earthly existence or antemortal life.
Presiding Bishop* A General Authority under the First Presidency who directs the temporal affairs of the Church, assisted by two counselors; together they compose the Presiding Bishopric.
Priest:* An office in the Aaronic Priesthood. - A youth group of worthy males between the age of 16 until they are ordained to the Melchizedek priesthood. These young men have been "ordained" into the Aaronic priesthood. You can see priests blessing the sacrament on Sundays at LDS church services.
Priestcraft* Misuse of priesthood authority or spiritual gifts to gain personal influence or money.
Priesthood Blessings* Blessings of counsel and divine influence conferred by the authority of the priesthood.
Priesthood Executive Committee, Stake and Ward
Priesthood Offices* Specific appointments to positions of authority or of responsibility in the priesthood.
Priesthood Quorum* An organized body of male members who hold the same priesthood office.
Priesthood* (1) The power of God; (2) the authority to act in God's name; (3) the right and responsibility to preside within the Church organization; (4) a term referring to the men of the Church in general. - Mormons emphasize the need for "restored" authority without which no Mormon believes they can receive baptism, communion, or temple ordinances. "The Priesthood was first given to Adam; he obtained the First Presidency, and held the keys of it from generation to generation," the Prophet said. "He obtained it in the Creation, before the world was formed." Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, p. 157 "Christ is the Great High Priest; Adam next." Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, p. 158 - The authority to act in the name of God. Priesthood authority is passed from one priesthood holder to another through the laying on of hands, and every priesthood holder can trace his line of authority back through Joseph Smith to Jesus Christ himself. Every worthy male in the Church is given priesthood. Also used generically to refer to the entire group of priesthood holders as a body, though less pointedly so than in most other churches. See also Aaronic Priesthood, Melchizedek Preisthood.
Primary - A sort of Sunday School for Mormon children aged three through eleven. - The auxiliary organization in the Church for children from ages eighteen months through eleven years.
Promised Land* In Book of Mormon usage, usually the Western Hemisphere.
Prophet says, The
Prophet, Seer, and Revelator* The special powers and functions held by members of the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles.
Prophet* (1) When capitalized, often refers to Joseph Smith; (2) when not capitalized, it can refer to the President of the Church, or any authorized spokesman for God; (3) one who has a testimony of Jesus Christ by the Holy Ghost has the "spirit of prophecy" (Rev. 19:10). One chosen by God to receive direct revelation. While apostles of modern times are ordained as "prophets, seers, and revelators," only the president of the Church is referred to as "the prophet" and is authorized to receive revelation on behalf of all God's children.
Proselyte (verb) An LDS variant of "proselytize," that is, to invite others to convert to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
Q
Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, the - The collection of apostles which stands second only to the First Presidency as a governing body of the L.D.S. Church. Sometimes also referred to as the Quorum of the Twelve, the Council of the Twelve, or simply the Twelve. - The body of twelve men who, under the direction of the First Presidency, constitute the second-highest presiding quorum of the Church.
Quorums of the Seventy General Authorities organized in bodies of up to seventy members. Under supervision of the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve, they direct missionary and other administrative activities of the Church.
R
R.M. - See returned missionary.
Rat - A missionary who informs on rulebreakers, usually with the hope of advancement. (Usually with the reward of advancement, come to think of it.) Also used as a verb to indicate informing on another missionary in such a fashion.
Reformed Egyptian - The language, consisting of "the learning of the Jews and the language of the Egyptians" (1 Nephi 1:2), from which Joseph Smith translated the Book of Mormon by means of the Urim and Thummim. - A set of characters used by Book of Mormon writers on metal plates.
Regional Representative* A specially called priesthood leader who serves in a teaching and training capacity between stake leaders and an Area Presidency. Each region consists of several stakes.
Release - The official end to any calling in the L.D.S. Church. In particular, a missionary must obtain a release before being able to engage in any of the pursuits which are proscribed during his term of service. A release can be either honorable or dishonorable.
Relief Society* The adult women's auxiliary organization of the Church. Also, a perjorative term which can be applied to any closed conversation between a group of Mormon women; e.g., "I wonder what those gals are plotting in their little Relief Society over there."
Reorganized Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints* RLDS Church - A church that arose in response to the schism that followed the June 27, 1844, murder of Joseph Smith. Formally organized on April 6, 1860, at Amboy, Illinois.
Reorganized Church:* the RLDS people followed Emma Smith and her son in a move away from Brigham Young and polygamy and polytheism. The current president of this group does not believe in the historicity of the Book of Mormon.
Restoration of the Gospel of Jesus Christ
Restoration (1) The reestablishment of the ancient gospel of Jesus Christ through Joseph Smith in the latter days; (2) the culmination of God's work on the earth in the latter days, including the restoration of the gospel, the gathering of Israel, and the renewal of the earth; (3) the returning of good for good, or evil for evil, in the last judgment (Alma 41:13).
Returned Missionary - This is a person that has been called formally to a mission for the Church, served for the expected amount of time and returned home. - A young man or woman who has come home after receiving an honorable release from his or her mission. The term is applicable for the duration of the subject's youth. Often shortened to r.m. See also Peter Priesthood.
Reunions - The reuniting of LDS families who, for screamingly obvious reasons, have chosen to live apart.
RM - Returned Missionary.
Road trip - A prohibited activity wherein a missionary leaves his assigned area and visits a distant area, either inside or outside the boundaries of his mission.
Roadshow A brief, original dramatic production, often presented at two or more locations within a stake.
Runaway - Slang for a missionary who leaves or attempts to leave his mission before his allotted period of service is up.
S
Sacrament * The water and bread blessed and distributed as emblems of the body and blood of Jesus Christ to Church members in ward or branch meetings. - Communion or the Lord's supper using water and bread as the elements. Mormons believe they renew their covenant of baptism when they partake of the elements. They believe they receive forgiveness of sins through this medium.
Sacrament Meeting* The principal worship meeting of the Church, during which the sacrament of the Lord's supper is blessed and distributed to members of the Church. The members also pray, sing, and hear sermons. - Weekly worship meeting held on Sundays, where the sacrament, which is similar to communion, is given to the members. The meeting begins with a song and prayer, followed by the giving of the sacrament. After the sacrament, spiritual instruction is given, most commonly by members of the congregation, who have been asked to talk on a specific topic, by a member of the bishopric.
Sacred Grove * The grove of trees near Palmyra/ Manchester, New York, in which in 1820 Joseph Smith received his First Vision of God the Father and Jesus Christ.
Saint - Any true follower of Christ.
Saints* refers to every LDS member. - Faithful members of the Church.
Salvation of the Dead, Salvation for the dead
Salvation* Resurrection to a kingdom of glory; sometimes used to signify exaltation in the celestial kingdom.
Satan - the brother of Jesus, the archtype of evil, and the founder of the Mormon Church.
Satan, binding of - L.D.S. doctrine holds that, during the Millennium, Satan will be bound -- not to be loosed again except for "a short space" at the end of the Earth's existence when Gog and Magog do their apocalyptic fandango. Sin will still exist during the Millennium, but the blame for it will lie squarely with the individual in question. No more using "The devil made me do it" for an excuse.
Saved - (1) To be delivered from physical death by the grace of God, through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ; (2) to be delivered from the consequences of personal sin by the grace of God through faith in Jesus Christ, repentance, and obedience to the commandments of God.
Scoop or Double Scoop:* [DAW] Derog. Gentile name for Mormons implying their brains had been scooped out. Coined by River Runners in Canyon Country. Since Utah has the highest ice cream consumption of any US state, maybe still appropriate
Scriptures (See Standard Works.)
sealed portion of the plates A segment of the gold plates that Joseph Smith obtained from the hill Cumorah, containing a revelation from the beginning to the end of the world. This segment was not translated by Joseph Smith.
Sealing* (1) Through the power of the priesthood, making valid in heaven an action performed on earth; (2) the temple ordinance joining husband and wife or children and parents for time and eternity.
Second Comforter A name-title for Jesus Christ. (Comforter.)
Second Coming (of Jesus)
Seer Stones * Sacred stones that, when used by a person with the gift of seership, reveal the past, present, and future. (Urim and Thummim.)
Seer* A person endowed with a special gift of seeing spiritually the past, present, and the future.
Self abuse:* Masturbation (WTF?).
Self-reliance The principle that individual Church members and families should, to the extent possible, provide and plan for their own necessities.
Self-Sufficiency (Self-Reliance)
Seminary - A daily class offered to students in the ninth through twelfth grades, wherein they receive in-depth indoctrination on subjects such as the Book of Mormon, the Bible, and Church history. In most parts of the country, Mormon students attend seminary early in the morning, before their normal school day. In Utah, however, seminary buildings are constructed adjacent to public high schools, and students are permitted one "released time" period per day to cross the street and receive religious instruction. - an educational outreach for junior high and senior high students. Often these buildings are adjacent to public schools. Teachers are usually certified by the state.
Senior Companion - The missionary assigned to lead a companionship. Usually, but not always, the missionary who has been on his or her mission the longest.
Serve - To fulfill any calling in the L.D.S. Church.
Service Project - Getting a bunch of unskilled people together to perform labor.
Set Apart - The authorization of an individual, by the laying on of hands to serve in a calling in the Church.
Seventies:* Originally a local quorum in each stake headed by seven local presidents. These also presided over local missionary activities in the each stake helping to coordinate efforts between local and full time missionaries. This has changed to a regional authority position.
Seventy - An office of the Melchizedek Priesthood with duties concerned mostly with missionary work. Named for the seventy missionaries Christ ordained in New Testament times and sent out into the world to preach his gospel. Once upon a time, seventies were called and ordained in every stake. Now, for rather obscure reasons, the only ordained seventies are general authorities. See also First Quorum of the Seventy, the.
Short Creek:* [DAW] - Or Arizona Strip, in the north of that state, now called "Colorado City" and founded by Mormon polygamists.
Sick, Blessing the* An ordinance in which ill persons are anointed with consecrated olive oil and blessed by Melchizedek Priesthood holders, to the end that healing may take place. (Anointing.)
Signs of the True Christian Church
Single Adults* Adult Church members who are not married.
Sister - Any female member of the Mormon Church, esp. sister missionaries.
Sister missionary - A female missionary. So called because such women are addressed as "Sister" -- as opposed to "Elder," as their male counterparts are called. Elders profess to hold sister missionaries in high esteen, though in most cases this is a cover for the fact that male missionaries feel their authority is threatened by the greater knowledge and maturity of most female missionaries. Often shortened to sister.
Social Services* A separate corporation from the Church (called LDS Social Services) which serves as a resource for meeting special social and emotional needs of Church members.
Solemn Assembly* Special assemblies of priesthood holders, generally held in temples.
Sons of Perdition* Individuals who have sinned against the Holy Ghost and have thus committed the unpardonable sin.
Soul* The united spirit and body. All living things on earth are souls, meaning they consist of a spirit body and a physical body.
Southern Virginia University:* SVU
Spaz = at BYU spaz, fruity, and fruitcake mean crazy and not gay.
Spirit Body* A being formed of refined element, with which a physical body of earthly element. unites to form a soul. Human spirits are literally children of God.
Spirit Prison* The place where the spirits of the dead, particularly the untaught and nonrighteous, await resurrection and judgment.
Spirit World* The place where the spirits of the dead await resurrection and judgment; it consists of paradise, prison, and hell.
Split-off - When the two members of a companionship work temporarily with different companions -- either other missionaries or responsible priesthood holders. Sometimes a split-off is done so that a zone leader or district leader can help one of his charges improve his proselytizing skills. Sometimes it is done for sheer variety. Often shortened to splits.
Splits - See split-off.
SS:* Sunday School.
Stake* A geographical-ecclesiastical unit of the Church, composed of several wards and sometimes branches. - A geographical and administrative unit of the L.D.S. Church consisting of usually six to ten wards, or from two to three thousand Saints. Administered by a stake president. From such scriptural passages as Isaiah 33:20: "Look upon Zion, the city of our solemnities: thine eyes shall see Jerusalem a quiet habitation, a tabernacle that shall not be taken down; not one of the stakes thereof shall ever be removed, neither shall any of the cords thereof be broken."
Stake Center - A meetinghouse of the Church in which the administrative offices of stake leaders are also located.
Stake Conference - A semiannual series of meetings which involves all the wards in a stake. These meetings are held at a stakehouse and supplant the normal Sunday worship schedule. A general authority normally attends each stake conference as a guest speaker and overseer.
Stake presidency - In the L.D.S. ecclesiastical hierarchy, the presiding body of a stake, consisting of a stake president and his two counselors. See also first counselor.
Stake President - In the L.D.S. ecclesiastical hierarchy, the presiding officer and spiritual leader of a stake. Falls above bishop and below regional representative.
Stakehouse - A larger-than-average Mormon meetinghouse which doubles as the headquarters of a stake. Big enough to accommodate the entire membership of the stake. Sometimes, and more properly, referred to as a stake center.
Standard works* The canonized Latter-day Saint scriptures: Bible, Book of Mormon, Doctrine and Covenants, and Pearl of Great Price. (The latter three, when bound under one cover, are often called the "Triple Combination.")
Stick of Joseph* A biblical term having reference to the Book of Mormon, which is a record of a remnant of the posterity of Joseph who was sold into Egypt (Ezek. 37:15-19).
Stick of Judah* A biblical term having reference to the Bible, being a record of the Jews and preserved by the prophets of Judah and by the apostles (Ezek. 37:15-19).
Still Small Voice:* 1) The voices and crying of molested Mormon children. 2) The threats Mormon molesters use to keep children scared and quite.
Strangite:* Follower of James Strang, who after JS' death took a group up to the Great Lakes area.
Sweet Spirit:* Term of derision used to depict fat, ugly women whom natural selection does not favor. - In Mormon women, the equivalent of a "good personality";
T
tabernacle (1) The physical body in which a person's spirit dwells during earth life; (2) a special building used for assemblies, such as the Tabernacle on Temple Square. Tabernacle Choir Tabernacle Choir:* Mormonism's Trojan Horse project into the world's media. Tabernacle Organ Tabernacle, Salt Lake City Taipei Taiwan Temple take talk Talk - A form of LDS communication based on one person talking and a bunch of others asking each other what the speaker said every time they hear someone laugh. Talk-In the LDS Church, members teach each other. “Giving a talk” refers to providing a lesson or instruction on a topic during one of the Sunday meetings, most often sacrament meeting. Tampico Mexico Temple Tapir:* A Book of Mormon pack animal often mistaken for a wild Mustang horse. Targeteerian:* Anyone old enough to know what this term means. Taylor, Elmina Shepard Taylor, John Taylorize:* To hide out from federal authorities in an underground network of "safe houses" (after the manner of John Taylor) because of your actions regarding polygamy. Example: "Warren Jeffs Taylorized for two years before being caught." TBC-Exmo:* Truly-believing-Christian Ex-Mormon. TBM TBM Friday:* Friday doesn't exist on the Mormon calendar. TBM:* True Believing Mormon. Tell Bishop Masturbation. Testimony Bearing Mormon. Truly Brainwashed Mormon, Totally Brain-dead Moron. Ten percenter. Twits Believing Morons. Too Bloody Moronic. tea teach teacher teacher* An office in the Aaronic Priesthood. Teacher, Aaronic Priesthood Teachers Teachers, Teacher Development Teachers: * youth group for "worthy" males between 14 to 16. These young men are "ordained" to the Aaronic Priesthood of which the teacher is one office. You can see teachers preparing the sacrament at LDS church services on Sunday. Teaching the Gospel teachings Teachings of Joseph Smith Teancum Tears:* Used in case your testimony/conference speech isn't proving to be convincing enough. Teflon doctrine:* Well known for its qualities of not sticking to the historical truth. Tegucigalpa Honduras Temple telestial telestial kingdom Telestial Kingdom:* telestial kingdom* The lowest of three degrees of glory; inherited by the wicked after they have suffered for their sins. tell Tempe, Arizona:* Templeview, Arizona. temple Temple and Family History Executive Council Temple Ceremony:* (In 19th C.) Referred to by Masons as the Joseph Lodge. Icanttellyouitssacred. Temple district Temple endowment Temple Garments Temple lot:* temple lost. the Mormons who actual go the temple. Temple Lott:* Not the Senator from Mississippi. Figure of mythology who was told not to turn around when fleeing away, but his wife did look back and was turned into a pillar of shit. temple marriage A term for a marriage solemnized by an eternal covenant in a Latter-day Saint temple. Temple Ordinances temple ordinances* Sacred ceremonies performed in Latter-day Saint temples. Temple President Temple President and Matron temple recommend Temple Recommend temple recommend - The laminated plastic card which, when signed by your bishop and stake president after appropriately arduous and intimate interviews, will admit you to a Mormon temple, where you may engage in such diverting pursuits as baptism for the dead, eternal sealing, and sleeping though an endowment session. Possession of a temple recommend is what makes one a "card-carrying" Mormon. Temple Recommend:* Coupon for one large Pay Lay Ale. Temple rectum-end. Where your head has to be stuffed for you to believe the Temple Cineplex movie is non-fiction. Magic Kingdom Card. Jesus Fan Club Membership Card. E-Ticket. Temple Recommend:* is the identification Mormons must present to obtain entrance into the temple. It must be signed by ward and stake leaders. Each recommend holder must be "interviewed" for personal worthiness twice each year. Those interviews are scripted by Salt Lake City to include some of the following questions: are you morally clean, do you pay your tithing having attended your annual tithing settlement meeting, do you recognize the general authorities of the church as prophets, seers and revelators in authority over the church, do you know or have you know any or have sympathy for any members of apostate groups fellowship with any enemies of the church? temple recommend* A certificate of worthiness to participate in temple ordinances. Temple Rectangle:* The more appropriate name for Temple Square. Temple Square Temple Square Hospitality Corporation Temple Square:* Extra stiff and starched TBM with no sense of humor. Temple Square* A ten-acre city block in Salt Lake City on which the Salt Lake Temple, Tabernacle, and adjacent buildings are located. Temple Vestments:* A white polyester granny dress. White paper surgery-room over slippers. A hat that makes the guys look like soup chefs for the Pillsbury doughboy. A mosquito-net veil. An adorable little green satin apron sewn into fig-leaf patterns (I really wish I'd taken one of these -- it wouldn't be stealing, you have to pay for the *&%$( things every time you go into the temple...), because they'd be fun for Halloween (excuse me: SAMHAIN...). Temple worker:* Receptionist/cleaner/guide. Temple Wanker. Temple:* International House of Handshakes. Temple:* see "Endowment temple* A sacred building, the "House of the Lord," in which Latter-day Saints perform sacred ceremonies and ordinances of the gospel for themselves and for the dead. Temples Temples Around the World Temples in the United States Temples:* Living Monuments to the philosophies of W.C. Fields and P.T. Barnum. Klub Kolob. Enormous, ornate structures which hide from view the kinky, secret rituals of the church. Zionese Consulates. temporal temptation Ten Commandments Ten Commandments:* A practical joke pulled on Israelites by David Letterman in one of his past lives which proved to be his first Top Ten list ever. What Joseph Smith calls his group of wives. Ten Percent Downs: * The horse racing track in Provo,Utah. ten tribes Those tribes of the house of Israel carried captive into Assyria c. 721 BC; known as the lost tribes of Israel because they became lost to the people and records of the Bible. Prophecy proclaims their return in the latter days. tender mercies Tender Mercies of the Lord Tender Mercies of the Lord (Elder David A. Bednar) Tenderfoot:* [DAW] A newcomer to an area of the west, also a ìpork eaterî. Apparently also used in some Mormon areas for new ìgreenî converts. Teomner terrestrial kingdom terrestrial kingdom* The middle of the three degrees of glory; inherited by "honorable" people of the earth who did not accept the fulness of the gospel of Jesus Christ. test testament Testator Testawfuldrone:* Generic drug also known as testimonium. Overdoses on this "seer-oid - analjesus" type drug cause stiffening of the leg and back muscles forcing the person to stand up in church meetings, especially on Fast Sunday, and to ramble on about delusional faith promoting experiences. Teste-fy:* A way of grabbing someone by the "you-know-whats" to make them reaffirm their allegiance. Testi-money:* The belief that paying tithing is fire insurance, that paying it will be a huge part of getting into the Celestial Kingdom. Testibleaching:* The effects of having a testimony of the true gospel as manifest by the lightening of the impure, corrupt, loathesome darker skinned races. Testiblubber:* The practice of showing just how "spiritual" you are by crying excessively while bearing your testimony. testify Testimommy:* If you don't get up and have mommy whisper in your ear what to say, she'll get testy...or if you're the daddy, she won't help your teste i.e., if you don't bear your testimony as a child you don't eat later, if you don't as a spouse, you won't get any later. Testimonies Testimonium:* Most basic and common of all elements composing the planet Kolob. Mormon male sex hormone. Testimonolog:* The ability to talk "balls" for twenty minutes. Testimonotony:* The feeling you've heard this testimony before, and it wasn't interesting the first time. testimony testimony - The Mormon word for a personal conviction of the truthfulness either of the Restored Gospel or of individual parts thereof. Also, the spoken expression of that conviction. Several sample usages follow: "Brothers and sisters, I'd like to bear my testimony that this church is true." "It took me years to gain a testimony of the principle of tithing." "I have a testimony that the Church welfare system is inspired by God." "I think Brother Luther is losing his testimony." "Constant study and prayer is the only way to keep your testimony strong." "You can't lean on the testimonies of your friends and family forever." See also fast-and-testimony meeting, testimony meeting. Testimony Bearing testimony meeting - Any gathering of Mormons at which the individual attendees are invited and encouraged to bear their testimonies for the benefit and edification of the group as a whole. Often when a Sunday School class or youth group is acting particularly unruly, the teacher or leader will declare the event a testimony meeting in an attempt to bring things back under control. No words strike fear into the hearts of Mormon youth more than these: "Why don't we have a testimony meeting?" See also fast-and-testimony meeting. Testimony of Jesus Christ Testimony:* Mormons place a great deal of emphasis on each member of the church obtaining a personal "testimony" of the "truthfulness of the restored gospel." Because of this emphasis on "personal testimony," your own testimony as a Christian can have more effect on a seeking Mormon than a carefully prepared list of scripture verses. While Mormons have been taught to mistrust Bible verses, they have been taught to give personal testimony a great deal of respect. As a practice, when Mormons share their testimonies they are shared in "religious tones" mentioning the church and various influential local leaders. If your testimony is more about your church or group they will not be particularly drawn to it, but if you have a testimony about the way Jesus Christ drew you into an intimate relationship with Him and with His word they will listen. One effective way of witnessing to Mormons is to dwell on the danger of placing so much weight on something as weak as "testimonial evidence" [you might mention the earnest used car salesman on television]. Testimony:* Testimonkey. Testiphony. Testimoney. The thing a Mormon has to have in order to give any credence in his own mind to the crap he's supposed to believe. See also Suspension of Reality. Best-of-phonies. testimony* A personal expression of one's convictions or beliefs about the gospel of Jesus Christ. Testiphony:* A firmly held belief not based in reality which must be born more fervently the higher in the ranks of the Mormon Church one rises. The current LDS prophet commands the absolute "testiphony." Testosterone - A compression of the Adamic phrase: “ye testy olde steroid one”. Testosterone:* A hormone designed by God to sorely test the faithful sisters of Zion. A hormone triggered to flow freely once the Holy Ghost sends fire into the loins and the sinews. thank Thankfulness Thanks for all you do. That is not essential to our salvation Theodicy Theogony Theology
Three-leg - See threesome.
Threesome - A companionship with three members instead of the usual two. Necessary when there are an odd number of missionaries of the same sex in one mission. Sometimes also called a three-leg.
Time and Eternity * A term suggesting that gospel ordinances and blessings are valid forever, both on earth and in the heavens.
Tithing * The donation of one-tenth of one's increase (gross income) to the Church.
Topical Guide* An index and concordance to the standard works of the Church;
Transfer - To reassign a missionary from one area and companion to another. Also, the process of receiving and enacting such a reassignment; e.g., "I'm looking forward to getting a transfer to somewhere else, Elder. Anywhere else." See also transfers.
Transfer bug - Mission slang for the seemingly arbitrary process by which transfers are determined; e.g., "I can never figure out just when the transfer bug is going to bite, Elder."
Transfers - The usually monthly event in which missionaries are reassigned to accommodate not only those arriving from the M.T.C. and those being released, but also those who are causing problems, not getting along with companions, threatening suicide, etc. See also transfer, transfer bug.
Translated Beings * Individuals who are changed in mortality so that they do not experience physical pain and whose death and resurrection will be in a "twinkling of the eye"; Enoch, Elijah, and John the Beloved are examples.
Triple combination See Standard Works
True Believing Mormons - see also TBM's.
Trunky (meaning a missionary who has slacked off on their missionary work because they are anxious to be home) - Homesick. Refers to the act of sitting on one's packed trunk, eagerly looking forward to the day when one's mission will end.
Twelve, the - See Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, the.
